Idol Scribblings

From the Idol Scribbler – July 2022

Hello Idollers everywhere! I can finally tell you why I have been away for a while, and why Idols Scribblings and Second Bestiary are going to be on a break for a while longer. The reason is very exciting.

Irs – Goddess of Tax Returns

Irs the Goddess of Tax Returns was not born from a union of between Gods, Elementals or even Mortals, but of political expediency. Her religious philosophy became one of self-assessment and honest judgement of one’s own worth. This goddess doesn’t judge you. You judge yourself, and then she decides whether you did it right.

Inspirouette – Goddess of Budding Ballerinas

The vast majority of Inspirouette’s temples pop up once a week in village halls, community centres and all-purpose sports halls. The barre is the back of a chair, you have to be careful not to crash into the folded ping-pong table, and the changing room is a toilet. This may all be far cry from the glamour of Covent Garden, but they still have a fantastic turnout.

Comedia Dell’Farté

If you love pantomime, Comedia Dell’Farté will always be behind you in everything you do. Some heathens say, “Oh no she isn’t”. However, Boys and Girls, we all know, “OH YES SHE IS!”

We Three Kingfishers

I would like to wish Idol Scribblings and Second Bestiary readers everywhere a wonderful Yuletide and very Happy New Year.

Hooteninny – God of “Business Meetings”

It was during the 2020 pandemic that Hooteninny came into his own as a major deity, when the ranks of his cult were swelled by a flock of political aides who just wanna have fun. His is an easy religion to follow as you don’t need to overly concern yourself with following the rules and, usually, it is others who make the sacrifices.  

Yarn Owl

The Yarn Owl.
A creature of the knit.

Broomhilda – Goddess of Witchcraft

Broomhilda is the answer to the question, “Quis custodiet ipsos maleficis” or, “Who watches the witches?” She is the overseeing goddess of the craft itself. The sect of Broomhilda is known as the Office for Standards in Charms, Rites, Occultism, Necromancy and Enchantment or “OFCRONE”.

Update From the Idol Scribbler

Hello to my lovely readers and irreverent spiritual questers. As you know, several weeks ago, I let you all know that I was having an operation and would be away from cartooning for a little while. The operation went well, but during the proceedings they picked up on a secondary problem, which requires further surgery. … Continue reading Update From the Idol Scribbler

Beeverley – Goddess of the East Riding

The way of Beeverley is a contemplative and reflective path. It’s follower’s practice the art of Venn Meditation, where they cogitate upon the question of whether they are in the East Riding, East Yorkshire or Humberside, and what the overlap between these might be. Despite years of deliberation, they are yet to reach a consensus on the answer to this question. Some of her followers who have more shamanic leanings expand their minds by consuming the potent powder known as “Chip Spice”.

Soccerates – God of Football

The great high temple of Soccerates is located in Wembley. This is where the faithful gather on the most holy occasions to raise their voices as they watch their team Kane the opposition into submission. Visitors always enter the temple by the south gate. Here you can see the sacred beasts of Soccerates, three lions that are called leopards that are actually lions. At the centre of the temple lies the “hallowed turf”, which is diligently re-hallowed every week without fail by a fully qualified turf hallower.

Hatt Mancock – God of Ministerial Affairs

The temple of Hatt Mancock is housed in a collection of hidden rooms in Whitehall, known as the Profumo Suite. If you wish to enter, you must first gain permission from Cecil Parkinson, the keeper of the Keyes. Inside you will find the altar, an majestic, mahogany ministerial desk. If you look closely, you will see the faint imprint of buttocks on its highly polished surface. If, during your visit, you hear that the “Party Whip” is being brought out, don’t panic. It’s just a novelty one with fluffy tassels and a glittery handle.

Camprey

The Camprey is a proud EelGBTQ+ water dweller. It strives for Eelquality.

Helen Harlotry – Goddess of Regency Romance

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a modern woman, in possession of her own fortune, must be in want of old-fashioned romance. Helen Harlotry is the goddess of all those who have an irrational longing to experience the lifestyle and passion of the Regency Era. A condition known to psychologists as “Austalgia”.

Ginnow

The Ginnow is a fish out of tonic. This martini-tiny fish can be found living in the vermouths of rivers. The Ginnow is often confused with the Cocktail Stickleback.

Darthworm

The Darthworm was formerly known as Annelid Skywriggler. They are thought to be responsible for the existence of those pesky hyperspace wormholes. This species hibernates through the winter, re-emerging every spring on May the Fourth.

Yabast – God of Giving Your Cat a Pill

As any cat lover knows, there merest suggestion of medication is enough to turn the sweetest pet kitty into a writhing ball of hate with a thousand claws. If the first labour assigned to Heracles had been to give a cat a tablet, his story would have been a lot shorter and would have ended with the Nemean Lion walking around wearing a Heracles-skin coat.

Gimpala

The Gimpala is a very kinky antelope. They make excellent pets.

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