Chilly Sanders – God of the Nesh

January 31, 2021January 31, 2021 ~ Hannah ~ Leave a comment

Everyone knows at least one person who is always complaining that they feel cold. These folk are known as, “The Nesh*”. Chilly Sanders is the god who watches over these perpetually parky people. You don’t have to be cool to worship him, but it helps. If, whilst on the beach on a scorching summers day, you spy someone bundled up in a duffle coat and tartan travel rug, they are very likely to be a disciple of Chilly Sanders. If you were to say, “Winter is Coming” to his acolytes they would look at you askance. For them, winter is already here. Despite their sensitivity to the slightest chill, you will still find his followers out and about at all the big events. They like to feel the freeze and do it anyway.

Chilly Sanders’ mythology is said to originate all the way back in the last ice age, which his sacred texts refer to as “The Age of Shivery”. He is said to be the progeny of the Arthrites the God of Aches and Stiffness and Zephbrrrr the Goddess of Cold Drafts. Sadly, his parents’ relationship did not last long following Chilly’s conception. The deal breaker was that Zephbrrrr kept putting her cold feet on Arthrites whilst they were in bed. Statues of Chilly Sanders always show him to be (like Theseus) hypolispos, or “buttockless”. This is said to symbolically represent the fact that he is always freezing his arse off.

The temple of Chilly Sanders is in Burrrrrrrlington, Vermont. When a non-believer enters the temple of Chilly Sanders their face will instantly melt. This is not due to any Indiana Jones style ancient curse. It is simply because the temple is always maintained at a toasty 38^oC by the gargantuan five jet Robinson-Willey gas fire, in which burns their sacred eternal flame. On entering the temple, each worshipper is greeted by the priests with a rousing chorus of, “Put the wood in the hole! Were you born in a barn?” The worshipper will then hang their cap on one of the impressive temple hat pegs. The priesthood can be recognised by the sacred giant knitted mittens which they must wear at all times. The church undertakes lots of good works in the community. These include supplying hot meals daily to the vulnerable. They fund this endeavour by manufacturing much sought after t-shirts bearing the image of the god.

Whilst worshippers of Chilly Sanders may be of any age. However, the majority of the flock are either of the venerable persuasion or hail from warmer climes. The only people excluded from the faith are teenagers who whinge about being cold but won’t put a sweater on. People from Newcastle-upon-Tyne are technically welcome to join. It’s just that none of them ever have.

Members of the faith who are still of working age are afflicted by a terrible curse which follows them throughout their careers. In any office where they are employed, they will always somehow end up sat at the desk next to someone who is menopausal. The most common cause of premature death amongst Sanderians is touching the thermostat.

The faith of Chilly Sanders has many famous philosophical proverbs. Perhaps the best known is, “Cast ne’er a clout. Period.”

* Nesh = A norther dialect word meaning someone who is susceptible to feeling cold. There is no other synonym for this word in English! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nesh

Idol Scribblings Volume Two
OUT NOW!

Even more deities for every eventuality with a foreword by Gary Brannan of the Technical Difficulties ( TechDiff.co.uk )

Order your copy here
https://idolscribblings.blog/the-book

Idol Scribblings Volume One

A collection of 52 deities, ancient and modern, for all occations from Idol Scribblings. Produced in 2019-2020.

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https://idolscribblings.blog/the-book/

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Thank you for reading. If you have enjoyed this deity, please feel free to share it with your friends. New deities are published weekly. You can get alerted to new deities via Facebook through the Idol Scribbling Page or on Twitter by following @IdolScribblings . Catch up on the Pantheon so far here.

If you have a suggestion for a deity, you can suggest it by clicking this link. Alternatively, get in touch over on Facebook or Twitter. All due credit will be given.

Solobrate – Goddess of Lockdown Birthdays

January 17, 2021 ~ Hannah ~ Leave a comment

Solobrate is the celestial guardian of anyone celebrating their birthday under quarantine conditions. Her followers are sensible, ordinary folk who make small personal sacrifices for the protection of their loved ones and community. This may sound dour, but in fact the faith encourages it’s worshippers to enjoy their special day in any way they safely can. Solobratians have a saying, “Don’t go out. Go all out!” Naturally, this deity has no temples or shrines. Her faithful never gather together. The rite to praise her is always practiced alone (or with your bubble) and at home.

In order to carry out the Solobrate Birthday Ritual you will need a little forward planning. You are going to need to purchase some fizzy wine for the libation. Make sure you order this to be delivered well in advance as a frivolous last minute trip to the shops could get you proseccocuted. Be sure to select a good vintage, aged to perfection, like yourself. Many people decorate the sacred space for the rite with balloons, cards and flowers sent by long distance loved ones. (However, if you are lucky enough to be locked down with a significant other, you may want to suggest that instead of spending their breath blowing balloons, they blow you instead.)

On the day of your birthday, don the fluffy ceremonial robe and seat yourself comfortably in your favourite spot with the “Sceptre of Ultimate Power” (a.k.a. The Remote Control) grasped firmly in your hand. Alternatively, one can wear one’s Birthday Suit (this is probably the only year since the age of three that you are going to be able to get away with it). Some of the most devout followers will paint their faces for the ritual using a special deep cleansing paint made of Dead Sea Mud and kumquat extract*. Next it is time to order your favourite take-away and feast like a really peckish Roman. Make sure your food order is over £20 to ensure you receive the free poppadoms or prawn crackers. You can use these unsolicited sundries as an offering to the goddess. The feast should conclude with a luscious cake consumed entirely to oneself. This cake is sanctified by lighting the sacred flame of Solobrate atop it for a few moments whilst singing “Happy Birthday to Me”. (Traditionalists will bake and eat a cake shaped like a clock for their birthday. I am told this is a fun and time consuming activity.) Now open the wine you ordered earlier and toast yourself until you could melt cheese on your forehead. At this stage of the proceedings, many worshippers get a little emotional. Missing absent friends and loved ones. Remember, it’s okay to not to be okay. This is your ritual and you can cry if you want to. The ritual concludes when you pass out in a satiated soggy heap.

This year, don’t worry about whether getting older makes you wiser. If you have the sense to stay at home for your pandemic birthday, you are already very, very wise.

*Rinse off with clean, fresh water after 15 minutes. Then apply moisturiser .

Solobrate is dedicated to everyone who has and will have a lockdown birthday. Especially my wonderful Mum, proof reader and all round saint, Teresa. Happy Birthday, love to you all and stay safe. Xxx

If you have a suggestion for a deity, you can suggest it by clicking this link. Alternatively, get in touch over on Facebook or Twitter. All due credit will be given.

Hog Man Nay – God of Safe New Year Celebrations

December 31, 2020 ~ Hannah ~ Leave a comment

Thinking of going out revelling this New Years Eve? Hog Man says, “NAY!” If you think a New Years at home is going to be a bit of a bore, Hog Man Nay helps make sure it’s a wild bore!

Whilst most deities are eternal immortals, for a few their existence is mayfly brief. Like Dicken’s Spirit of Christmas Present, Hog Man Nay the mystical essence of a single and unique day. He will exist on 31st December for precisely 24 hours, (except in Scotland, where he will last for an additional bonus day). He will be worshipped in almost every country around the world tonight, except in the USA (and international opinion is that they are really dropping the ball on that one.)

Hog Man Nay’s chief divine duty is to ensure that the year 2020 promptly departs at midnight. In his mythology, the old year and the new year do battle and twenty twenty one. Hog Man Nay then drags this defeated and accursed annum to the lowest level of the underworld, shreds it, kills it with fire then and shoots it six times with poison darts to make sure. (There are also some people also believe that at the same time he will also magically detach the UK from its continental mooring and cast it off into the middle of the Atlantic.) Despite his dark tasks, Hog Man Nay is a benevolent god towards most mortals, helping us celebrate at home or celebrate alone. He blesses all those who rejoice safely and with simple pleasures. To the righteous, he awards the power to consume a 24 piece samosa party selection pack and a prawn ring all by yourself. So there is no need to miss out on the festive food for fear of wasting it.

Those who risk spreading pestilence by revelling in the streets or attending gatherings incur the wrath of Hog Man Nay. He is said to raise a “dark hunt” to chase down these unclean heathens. As the tradition of “First Footing” will not be able to go ahead as normal this year, Hog Man Nay has commandeered all the lumps of coal and will be using them as carboniferous projectiles to smite roving sinners. If you witness an apparition of Hog Man Nay, do not be alarmed if he appears to be blurry. This is not due to your alcohol consumption, but because of a rather low new years resolution.

Hog Man Nay’s cult is very hierarchical. There are four tiers of priesthood. Each rank taking a more strict vow of isolation than the one below. (The Scottish branch of the cult has an additional fifth tier). As this is a religion which prizes solitude, they do not have any churches, temples or meeting places. Instead, the church have invested in hiring advertising bill boards to spread the word of Hog Man Nay. (Graphic design and printing by Auld Lang Signs.) This campaign is co-ordinated by the High Priestess Eve Saint-Sylvestre.

One ritual that will be practiced by his followers tonight is “Sainitisation”. This is quite similar to the Gaelic tradition of Saining. The devotee’s house is fumigated with aerosol disinfectant spray in place of the wood smoke and the customary juniper branches are substituted for lashings and lashings of gin. So it’s pretty much the same really. Sadly, not all annual traditions can take place. This the year when the Uppies will stay up and the Doonies stay doon.

Hog Man Nay also showers his blessings on couples who will propose to one another and get engaged on New Years Eve. As non essential shops are shut, and many lovers will have to pop the question via video chat, “Ring in the New Year” will take on extra meaning.

A very Happy New Year from Idol Scribblings. May the pantheon bless you all in 2021!

If you have a suggestion for a deity, you can suggest it by clicking this link. Alternatively, get in touch over on Facebook or Twitter. All due credit will be given.

Jolly Saint Prick – God of Vaccination

December 13, 2020December 13, 2020 ~ Hannah ~ Leave a comment

The great midwinter festival is a time when ancient beliefs take on a modern incarnation, and Jolly Saint Prick is a prime example of this phenomenon. He is a genial spirit who protects mankind from the ravages of disease, especially during those dark pestilent months. Jolly Saint Prick is said to reside the South Pole where he has a celestial pharmaceutical lab staffed by a dedicated team of research elves. This location provides the perfect conditions to keep the phials of sacred vaccines that they produce below the required -70^oC. (Also, it’s actually on a solid continental land mass, so he got a much better real estate deal than Santa). He files across the world in his magical medical sleigh to deliver vaccines to all the good and bad children alike (Jolly Saint Prick does not judge). The reindeer who pull his sleigh are all kept fully up to date on their shots to ensure herd immunity. Unfortunately, Jolly Saint Prick does not have the power to deliver his gift to everyone in the world in just one night. This is partly because two doses are required a few weeks apart.

Jolly Saint Prick has a dedicated team of medically trained priests who administer his blessings and protection to the masses. Whenever this blessing is bestowed the priest will recite a short prayer. The modern version of this prayer is, “You’ll feel a sharp scratch.” Traditionalists are still campaigning for a return to the original version, “You’re going to feel a little prick.” Their chief argument is that the polite, modern version deprives a nervous patient of the little dose of double entendre that can help get them through the experience.

They say you should never look a gift reindeer in the mouth, but despite all the evidence to the contrary, some people are sceptical of, and even violently hostile towards, the good works of Jolly Saint Prick (usually worshippers of Teflonata). One concern voiced, is that modern vaccines may be being used to insert microchips into people. All I can say, is that it is a big improvement on vaccines in the 1980’s when there was a whole 5¹/₄inch floppy disc in every tetanus shot. I jest, of course. Jolly Saint Prick’s rigorous safety procedures ensure that the only chips inside us this winter are the ones we’re filling our faces with over the holiday. Fortunately, Mr William Shakespeare of Warwick bravely set an example by becoming the first person in England to receive the new vaccine. He knows that uneasy likes the head that wears the corona. In Northern Ireland, when they were selecting the first person to receive the vaccine, they chose a keen ‘un.

I will leave you with a short extract from the famous sacred psalm “A Visit from Saint Prick”.

Now Astra! Now Zeneca! Now Oxford and Pfizer!
On Moderna! On BioNTech! On Janssen and Sputnik!
So hopefully we won’t get the bloody bug after all,
Vaccinate! Vaccinate! Vaccinate all!

I would like to thank Larry Brennan for kindly agreeing to be my model for Jolly Saint Prick. Thank you for lending your awesome Santa energy to this deity!

If you have a suggestion for a deity, you can suggest it by clicking this link. Alternatively, get in touch over on Facebook or Twitter. All due credit will be given.

Karenken – Blond Bobbed Abyssal Beast

November 30, 2020November 30, 2020 ~ Hannah ~ Leave a comment

The Karenken – A Blond Bobbed Abyssal Beast.
© H. Hudson-Lee 2020

The Karenken is a hyper-privileged abyssal beast that wants to speak to everyone’s manager. It takes the form of a tangle of seething, entitled tentacles, lurking in the depths of ocean trenches. The Karenken can be distinguished from other marine behemoths by its celebrated asymmetrical blond coiffure (a style known to the French as the “bob a feté”) and the flushed pink hue of its skin. If this wasn’t recognisable enough, you can be in no doubt that you are in the presence of the Karenken once you hear its distinctive call. This sounds a lot like, “DOYOUKNOWWHOIAM!” It is not clear exactly how much sway the Karenken has over hearts and minds of mankind, but they certainly consider themselves to be an influencer.

The cult of Karenken is an extremely dark religion, known to regularly practice human sacrifice. They find a ready supply of victims by regularly advertising minimum wage retail jobs. When a rite to appease the Karenken takes place, the unfortunate victim is taken out to sea on a temple ship, where they will first cast some material offerings into the waves to try and appease the Karenken. The Karenken will then erupt from beneath the spume with boiling ire, expressing violent displeasure about the quality of the material offerings, how long they took to be delivered and the general attitude of the assembled priests. At this point, the High Priest or “Manager” comes forward and performs the sacrifice by firing the victim. Very, very literally. The Karenken then retreats beneath the brine, sated for now. This ritual is known as “The Customer Service”. Students of comparative religion have concluded that this just goes to prove that what the Karenken truly feeds on is drama, attention, and the souls of junior workers who just want to earn enough to eat today. (The victim is not always doomed, very occasionally one manages to escape by hiding in the toilets and crying.)

The acolytes of the Karenken have a wider holy mission, making sure the online presence of the Karenken can always be felt via the ethernet. Much of their time online is spent writing scathing reviews and comments about innocent businesses. Preferably companies small enough that they wont have the spare capital to sue for libel and defamation. The church have a helpful website to teach neophytes how to take down a social media manager in one easy comment, known as “Rip Advisor”. Using the religious guidance on this website enables a new member of the religion to learn how to make people in ecommerce yell and yelp in a few easy steps. When not incinerating “menial employees” or leaving negative feedback, worshippers of Karenken have a tendency to support dubious political movements. A recent example being their backing of the insidious “Make Atlantis Great Again” campaign. To fund the upkeep of their temples and their works, worshippers of Karenken hold an annual amateur variety show called “The One Star Revue”. This may be the only known theatrical event where all the critics are on the stage.

Throughout history, followers of other deities have been known to attempt to summon and channel the power of the Karenken to do their bidding. Most recently, the priests of Tantrump who sought to harness the power to overturn an election result. This course of action is very unwise, as the Karenken only ever serves the Karenken. What they think will be an awesome force of nature on their side always turns out to be a damp squid.

If you encounter the Karenken, it is possible to banish it. Just tell it you ARE the manager, and repeatedly chant the ancient protective mantra, “Fou Kovf.”

If you have a suggestion for a deity, you can suggest it by clicking this link. Alternatively, get in touch over on Facebook or Twitter. All due credit will be given.

Idol Scribblings Volume Two – OUT NOW

November 30, 2020 ~ Hannah ~ Leave a comment

Idol Scribblings Volume Two is out today! Get your copy here https://IdolScribblings.blog/The-Book

Idol Scribblings Volume Two is a collection of Idol Scribblings Cartoons taken from 2019-2020. 55 illustrated fictional deities for modern problems. Packed with humorous slants, satirical twists and terrible puns. Meet new Gods that you need in your life right now, such as Quarantina the Goddess of Lockdowns and Beelzebuble the God of Commecial Christmas Music.

I want to say a huge thank you to everyone who has supported the project along the way. Especially all of you who made this possible by pre-ordering your copies.

Soz – Goddess of Insincere Apologies

November 22, 2020November 22, 2020 ~ Hannah ~ Leave a comment

Soz, the goddess of insincere apologies, is an ancient Phoneycian deity. Within this pantheon she is the spoiled smiling golden child of the chief of the gods. However, the demigods, nymphs and other entities lower down the celestial pecking order know her as a source of daily dread and degradation. Phoneycian mythology is full of tales such as Soz tying the laces of the winged sandals of the messenger of the gods together and throwing them over a wire suspended between two mountain peaks. Another story tells of how she cursed the arm and hand of a hapless dryad so that the poor tree spirit would spend eternity hitting herself (which is a lot worse when you’re mostly made of wood). When Civilis (a servant of the gods) brought a nice bright red briefcase to school one day, she stole it from him and beat him up with the catch end. Perhaps the darkest tale is of when some new deities arrived in the pantheon, borne to Phoneycia in the minds of migrants. She welcomed those who came with a battalion of affluent followers, but she tried to have the rest shipped off to a remote barren island. It is because of these spiteful acts that the other deities sometimes describe Soz as a “FOB-SOC” (Face off Baywatch, soul off Crimewatch).

Every myth of Soz ends in the same way. The chief of the Phoneycian gods is forced to acknowledge that Soz’s behaviour has been unfitting for one in such an exalted position, and he forces Soz to make an apology. Soz always responds to this by making a statement which, on the surface sounds like a redress, but fact has all the genuine contrition of a dog which has just successfully stolen your steak dinner. This pattern has lead to many later academics describing Soz as a “Brazen Idol”.

The one common quality that the members of Soz’s sect share is an utter rejection of any ultimate personal responsibility. From board room bullies, through micro dictator middle managers, to the playground pugilists who prefer a puny opponent. Politicians also seem to be remarkably well represented. Especially those who have had to make the “statement of shame” to a mob of baying press outside their house. Whilst their cuckolded family stand by their side, nominally as a show of support, but in reality as a kind of human shield. If you decide to join the cult of Soz, you must learn to speak in very particular fashion. Henceforth you must never apologise directly for any action. You are no longer “wrong”, you are only ever, “working with inaccurate information”. Bonus points are scored if you can somehow phrase things so that it sounds vaguely like the other person is to blame. For example, “I’m sorry I yelled at you and called you useless scum,” would be substituted for, “I’m sorry you’re upset”. Once you have mastered the lingo, you can now be baptised into the religion. Uniquely, this baptism ceremony involves you pushing someone else’s head into the font and flushing.

Inside every Sozian temple is a strange ritual artifact known as the “Pritster”. When Sozians gather for worship, they form a square around the Pritster. This is followed by a collection for the temple upkeep, where the priesthood go around their flock and steal their lunch money with menaces. Now, lead by their high preristess Miss Guided, the congregation adopt a sanctimonious countenance, cross their fingers, and recite,
“I am sorry that my behaviour in the past has upset people. It has never been my intention to cause upset to anyone; I acknowledge that I am direct and have at times got frustrated”. The high priestess will conclude the ritual by responding with, “I now consider the matter closed”.

The sacred animal of Soz is an inconsolably weeping crocodile. The sacred texts of Soz are all inscribed on sugared rice paper to ensure that they are palatable.

If you have a suggestion for a deity, you can suggest it by clicking this link. Alternatively, get in touch over on Facebook or Twitter. All due credit will be given.

Tantrump – God of Sore Losers

November 7, 2020November 9, 2020 ~ Hannah ~ 1 Comment

Tantrump is the god of people who petulantly wail, “That’s not fair! I want a do-over!” whenever they don’t win. He is a deity of denial that Ancient Egypt wants nothing to do with. Tantrump was born the son of the Juan Perscent, God of Obscene Wealth, and Privilegina the Goddess of Entitlement. Despite his august parentage, after the age of 13 Tantrump was raised by schools. That is so much worse than being raised by wolves (at least wolves have been known to show affection). As an adult god he turned a strange shade of orange when he became the first painted idol to use creosote. It is thought that this came about because he wanted to emulate Croesus, but badly misread the name. Tantrump resides in a towering celestial Palace made entirely and tastelessly of gold. (If you think that sounds nice, stop for a moment to imagine how cold his toilet seat is.) It is situated in the centre of a large golf course, encircled by a huge wall. Who payed for the wall? Everyone paid for the wall… …to keep him in.

Tantrump’s priests and priestesses are all said to be descendants of the God, fathered on an unfortunate succession of mortal supermodels, known as the “Mama Lagos”. The high priest is always the eldest of the god’s children and is known by the title “Junior”. They don’t sing any hymns in this religion, because nothing rhymes with orange.

The festival of Tantrump officially begins on the 3rd of November with a vote to select a new chief of the Gods. The following four days are known as the Schrödinger’s President’s Days. When Tamtrump is in a metaphysical state of being both victorious and not victorious, and remains a quantum uncertainty until all the ballot boxes are opened. On the first two days Tantrump’s worshippers will claim success and celebrate before the race is fully run, whilst the rest of the world sits nervously wearing out their F5 key. On the third day, when things are no longer going their way, worshippers of Tantrump will start crying foul without any evidence of untoward shenanigans. On this day the priests will conduct a ritual to summon the asymmetrically blonde bobbed abyssal beast known as “The Karenken”. The Karenken, once summoned, demands to speak to the poll managers, the Supreme Court, and failing that screams into the void of social media. It can be recognised by its distinctive cry of “Stop the Count” and its vicious attacks on Usps the messenger of the gods.

Finally, on the fourth day, news of Tantrump’s defeat arrives. At first he refuses to accept the result, but not even Four Seasons Total Landscaping can fix this landslide. At the climax of the festival, Tantrump’s head explodes in an apoplexy of hubris and bile. This makes America gay again and the people of the wider world rejoice with them. Redefining the term a “Grand Old Party”. Together they see off the shell of the defeated deity with cheerful cries of “Bi den!” The last rite of the festival takes place two years later, when Nevada finally delivers its results. This delay is thought to be due to the “What happens in Vegas” effect. Officially the festival is meant to take place every four years, but right now everyone feels a bit like that would be a bit too soon to go through all this again.

Thank you to Gareth Wilden for suggesting Tantrump.

Idol Scribblings Volume Two
Coming out 30th November 2020

Even more deities for every eventuality with a foreword by Gary Brannan of the Technical Difficulties ( TechDiff.co.uk )
Pre order before November 14th 2020 for a special early-bird discount and to get your name included in the book as a patron.

Pre order here https://idolscribblings.blog/the-book

If you have a suggestion for a deity, you can suggest it by clicking this link. Alternatively, get in touch over on Facebook or Twitter. All due credit will be given.

Ouboboross – God of Painting Joyfully

October 24, 2020 ~ Hannah ~ Leave a comment

The divine demi-beast Ouboboross is worshipped as a symbol of the eternal endurance of art and the joy it brings to humanity. He did not intend to swallow his own tail. However, he decided that this had not been a mistake, just a happy little accident, and he stuck with it. (Although some jealous minor deities accused him of doing it to try and make his ars longa). He is a deity of enormous power. He has the ability to move trees, rivers and even mountains with the stroke of a pallet knife. He also has the power to magically transform human errors into beautiful flocks of birds or lazy waterfalls. Ouroboross is also famed for ability to miraculously cure insomnia. His low sultry voice is said to be capable of lulling a caffeinated two year old to a restful slumber.

Followers of Ouboboross believe that there is an artist hidden at the bottom of every single one of us, and that the secret to doing anything is believing that you can do it (although practice helps). They also believe that Ouboboross is a guiding hand in the evolution of the universe. According to them, it is he who ensures that each of the little things are individuals – all of them special in their own way. The underlying philosophy of the Ouroborossian way of life is to do something every day that will make you happy. For most this involves painting, because every day is a good day when you paint. However, some of them simply like to beat the brush. Upon death, Ouboborossians believe that their souls will released from their mortal shells to become as free as clouds and they will just lay around in the sky all day long.

The cult of Ouboboross may be the most loving, welcoming and inclusive of all religions. Accessible to all. Even the colour blind can join and learn to create majestic snow scenes. The flock are a happy bunch, they may paint an umber bridge, but they’ll never take umbridge. Because the sect brings together like-minded people, devotees often meet the love of their life through the church. The traditional Ouboborossian chat-up line goes, “Is that a squirrel in your pocket, or are you just pleased to see me?”

The temple of Ouboboross is built up in a happy little tree which stands alone. (There used to be crooked tree next to it, but they sent that one to Washington). When you arrive at the temple, it is customary to talk to the tree and make friends with it, (there is nothing wrong with having a tree as a friend). Once inside you will be able to marvel at the main gallery, which is hung with thousands of almighty paintings. Visitors to the tree temple are invited to go out on a limb, because that’s where the fruit is.

A ritual to honour Ouboboross always lasts for half an hour. Worshippers will congregate dressed in old shirts and clutching their brushes to paint along with one of Ouboboross’ 403 sacred video recordings. The service ends with the congregation chanting the prayer, “So from all of us here, happy painting and Ouboboross bless, my friend.” There are said to be other rites. Strange sensuous rites, held in the temple’s inner studio sanctuary. Acolyte armature artists will anoint themselves with linseed oil and make love to a sacred canvas. It is said to be a highly liberating experience, many of the faithful have found freedom on the canvas. If you get invited to observe one of these rituals, remember, there’s no pressure. Just relax and watch it happen.

If you have been converted to the way of Ouboboross, you can show your devotion by purchasing Ouboboross t-shirts, garments and gifts through my RedBubble Shop.

**For Ouboboross tailored for light garments and items, click here** https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/60718828

**For Ouboboross tailored for dark garments, click here** https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/60719336

Idol Scribblings – Volume Two

Featured ~ Hannah ~ Leave a comment

Hello Idollers everywhere!
Idol Scribblings Volume Two is coming on November 30th 2020
and is now available to pre order!

More deities, ancient and modern for all occasions. Fifty three gods and goddesses to help you with almost any situation imaginable. Such as, Dicenysis the skeletal God of Boardgames who plays a very unusual version of Ker-Plunk with his ribcage, or Peebee the God of Arbitrary Sporting Achievements whose followers invented the term “to exercise religiously”.

Written and illustrated by Hannah Hudson-Lee with foreword by Gary Brannan of the Technical Difficulties https://www.techdif.co.uk/

You can pre order before November 14th 2020 for the special early bird price of £11.99 including UK postage an packaging. Everyone pre-ordering before November 14th will have their name included in the book as a patron and supporter.

Order here at https://IdolScribblings.blog/the-book