Hog Man Nay – God of Safe New Year Celebrations

December 31, 2020 ~ Hannah ~ Leave a comment

Thinking of going out revelling this New Years Eve? Hog Man says, “NAY!” If you think a New Years at home is going to be a bit of a bore, Hog Man Nay helps make sure it’s a wild bore!

Whilst most deities are eternal immortals, for a few their existence is mayfly brief. Like Dicken’s Spirit of Christmas Present, Hog Man Nay the mystical essence of a single and unique day. He will exist on 31st December for precisely 24 hours, (except in Scotland, where he will last for an additional bonus day). He will be worshipped in almost every country around the world tonight, except in the USA (and international opinion is that they are really dropping the ball on that one.)

Hog Man Nay’s chief divine duty is to ensure that the year 2020 promptly departs at midnight. In his mythology, the old year and the new year do battle and twenty twenty one. Hog Man Nay then drags this defeated and accursed annum to the lowest level of the underworld, shreds it, kills it with fire then and shoots it six times with poison darts to make sure. (There are also some people also believe that at the same time he will also magically detach the UK from its continental mooring and cast it off into the middle of the Atlantic.) Despite his dark tasks, Hog Man Nay is a benevolent god towards most mortals, helping us celebrate at home or celebrate alone. He blesses all those who rejoice safely and with simple pleasures. To the righteous, he awards the power to consume a 24 piece samosa party selection pack and a prawn ring all by yourself. So there is no need to miss out on the festive food for fear of wasting it.

Those who risk spreading pestilence by revelling in the streets or attending gatherings incur the wrath of Hog Man Nay. He is said to raise a “dark hunt” to chase down these unclean heathens. As the tradition of “First Footing” will not be able to go ahead as normal this year, Hog Man Nay has commandeered all the lumps of coal and will be using them as carboniferous projectiles to smite roving sinners. If you witness an apparition of Hog Man Nay, do not be alarmed if he appears to be blurry. This is not due to your alcohol consumption, but because of a rather low new years resolution.

Hog Man Nay’s cult is very hierarchical. There are four tiers of priesthood. Each rank taking a more strict vow of isolation than the one below. (The Scottish branch of the cult has an additional fifth tier). As this is a religion which prizes solitude, they do not have any churches, temples or meeting places. Instead, the church have invested in hiring advertising bill boards to spread the word of Hog Man Nay. (Graphic design and printing by Auld Lang Signs.) This campaign is co-ordinated by the High Priestess Eve Saint-Sylvestre.

One ritual that will be practiced by his followers tonight is “Sainitisation”. This is quite similar to the Gaelic tradition of Saining. The devotee’s house is fumigated with aerosol disinfectant spray in place of the wood smoke and the customary juniper branches are substituted for lashings and lashings of gin. So it’s pretty much the same really. Sadly, not all annual traditions can take place. This the year when the Uppies will stay up and the Doonies stay doon.

Hog Man Nay also showers his blessings on couples who will propose to one another and get engaged on New Years Eve. As non essential shops are shut, and many lovers will have to pop the question via video chat, “Ring in the New Year” will take on extra meaning.

A very Happy New Year from Idol Scribblings. May the pantheon bless you all in 2021!

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Even more deities for every eventuality with a foreword by Gary Brannan of the Technical Difficulties ( TechDiff.co.uk )

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Idol Scribblings Volume One

A collection of 52 deities, ancient and modern, for all occations from Idol Scribblings. Produced in 2019-2020.

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Thank you for reading. If you have enjoyed this deity, please feel free to share it with your friends. New deities are published weekly. You can get alerted to new deities via Facebook through the Idol Scribbling Page or on Twitter by following @IdolScribblings . Catch up on the Pantheon so far here.

If you have a suggestion for a deity, you can suggest it by clicking this link. Alternatively, get in touch over on Facebook or Twitter. All due credit will be given.

Wraptor

December 19, 2020December 20, 2020 ~ Hannah ~ 1 Comment

The Wraptor uses its skill at hovering and deft talons to tie beautiful bows. Nature truly is a gift.

Merry Christmas from Idol Scribblings!

This year I was honored to have the opportunity to produce the artwork for Sheffield and Rotherham Wildlife Trust’s Christmas card, and the Wraptor has carried warm Christmas wishes to all their members on its swift wings. The eagle eyed amongst you will have spotted that the Wraptor is a Hen Harrier, one of the UK’s majestic birds of prey.

Sheffield and Rotherham Wildlife Trust do amazing work in my local area making a space for wildlife to thrive in a picturesque, but heavily industrial part of the country. Most of their 15 reserves are open access and are located in a variety of habitats from the city centres to the moorlands. Throughout lockdown these beautiful spaces have remained open to all. Somewhere to enjoy exercise and fresh air and replenish the soul, with plenty of space to do so safely. Their education team (who normally run events for schools and youth groups) have been hard at work providing resources to help lockdown home schoolers. Not only this, but they work on a larger scale to campaign protect our environment as a whole.

Sheffield and Rotherham Wildlife Trust’s reserves at (left to right) Blacka Moor, Centenary Riverside and Greno Woods.

If you have a few quid to spare this festive season, may I suggest joining or donating to Sheffield and Rotherham Wildlife Trust (or your own local area Wildlife Trust). You can also gift membership. It makes a wonderful present! Click one of the images below to find out how. You can also follow their work on twitter through @WildSheffield and @WildlifeTrusts respectively.

Support Sheffield and Rotherham Wildlife Trust
https://www.wildsheffield.com/support-us/

Find your local Wildlife Trust
https://www.wildlifetrusts.org/

Thank you for reading Idol Scribblings in 2020, and for all your support, social media likes, retweets, plugs and shares. You are the best supporters an artist could have. Merry Yuletide and a Happy New Year to you all.

**Idol Scribblings Volume One**

A collection of 52 deities, ancient and modern, for all occations from Idol Scribblings. Produced in 2019-2020.
Order your copy here
https://idolscribblings.blog/the-book/

**Idol Scribblings**
**Volume Two**

Even more deities for every eventuality with a foreword by Gary Brannan of the Technical Difficulties ( TechDiff.co.uk )
**Order your copy here**
**https://idolscribblings.blog/the-book**

Idol Scribblings Volume Two – OUT NOW

November 30, 2020 ~ Hannah ~ Leave a comment

Idol Scribblings Volume Two is out today! Get your copy here https://IdolScribblings.blog/The-Book

Idol Scribblings Volume Two is a collection of Idol Scribblings Cartoons taken from 2019-2020. 55 illustrated fictional deities for modern problems. Packed with humorous slants, satirical twists and terrible puns. Meet new Gods that you need in your life right now, such as Quarantina the Goddess of Lockdowns and Beelzebuble the God of Commecial Christmas Music.

I want to say a huge thank you to everyone who has supported the project along the way. Especially all of you who made this possible by pre-ordering your copies.

Ouboboross – God of Painting Joyfully

October 24, 2020 ~ Hannah ~ Leave a comment

The divine demi-beast Ouboboross is worshipped as a symbol of the eternal endurance of art and the joy it brings to humanity. He did not intend to swallow his own tail. However, he decided that this had not been a mistake, just a happy little accident, and he stuck with it. (Although some jealous minor deities accused him of doing it to try and make his ars longa). He is a deity of enormous power. He has the ability to move trees, rivers and even mountains with the stroke of a pallet knife. He also has the power to magically transform human errors into beautiful flocks of birds or lazy waterfalls. Ouroboross is also famed for ability to miraculously cure insomnia. His low sultry voice is said to be capable of lulling a caffeinated two year old to a restful slumber.

Followers of Ouboboross believe that there is an artist hidden at the bottom of every single one of us, and that the secret to doing anything is believing that you can do it (although practice helps). They also believe that Ouboboross is a guiding hand in the evolution of the universe. According to them, it is he who ensures that each of the little things are individuals – all of them special in their own way. The underlying philosophy of the Ouroborossian way of life is to do something every day that will make you happy. For most this involves painting, because every day is a good day when you paint. However, some of them simply like to beat the brush. Upon death, Ouboborossians believe that their souls will released from their mortal shells to become as free as clouds and they will just lay around in the sky all day long.

The cult of Ouboboross may be the most loving, welcoming and inclusive of all religions. Accessible to all. Even the colour blind can join and learn to create majestic snow scenes. The flock are a happy bunch, they may paint an umber bridge, but they’ll never take umbridge. Because the sect brings together like-minded people, devotees often meet the love of their life through the church. The traditional Ouboborossian chat-up line goes, “Is that a squirrel in your pocket, or are you just pleased to see me?”

The temple of Ouboboross is built up in a happy little tree which stands alone. (There used to be crooked tree next to it, but they sent that one to Washington). When you arrive at the temple, it is customary to talk to the tree and make friends with it, (there is nothing wrong with having a tree as a friend). Once inside you will be able to marvel at the main gallery, which is hung with thousands of almighty paintings. Visitors to the tree temple are invited to go out on a limb, because that’s where the fruit is.

A ritual to honour Ouboboross always lasts for half an hour. Worshippers will congregate dressed in old shirts and clutching their brushes to paint along with one of Ouboboross’ 403 sacred video recordings. The service ends with the congregation chanting the prayer, “So from all of us here, happy painting and Ouboboross bless, my friend.” There are said to be other rites. Strange sensuous rites, held in the temple’s inner studio sanctuary. Acolyte armature artists will anoint themselves with linseed oil and make love to a sacred canvas. It is said to be a highly liberating experience, many of the faithful have found freedom on the canvas. If you get invited to observe one of these rituals, remember, there’s no pressure. Just relax and watch it happen.

If you have been converted to the way of Ouboboross, you can show your devotion by purchasing Ouboboross t-shirts, garments and gifts through my RedBubble Shop.

**For Ouboboross tailored for light garments and items, click here** https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/60718828

**For Ouboboross tailored for dark garments, click here** https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/60719336

Idol Scribblings Volume Two
Coming out 30th November 2020

Even more deities for every eventuality with a foreword by Gary Brannan of the Technical Difficulties ( TechDiff.co.uk )
Pre order before November 14th 2020 for a special early-bird discount and to get your name included in the book as a patron.

Pre order here https://idolscribblings.blog/the-book

Idol Scribblings – Volume Two

Featured ~ Hannah ~ Leave a comment

Hello Idollers everywhere!
Idol Scribblings Volume Two is coming on November 30th 2020
and is now available to pre order!

More deities, ancient and modern for all occasions. Fifty three gods and goddesses to help you with almost any situation imaginable. Such as, Dicenysis the skeletal God of Boardgames who plays a very unusual version of Ker-Plunk with his ribcage, or Peebee the God of Arbitrary Sporting Achievements whose followers invented the term “to exercise religiously”.

Written and illustrated by Hannah Hudson-Lee with foreword by Gary Brannan of the Technical Difficulties https://www.techdif.co.uk/

You can pre order before November 14th 2020 for the special early bird price of £11.99 including UK postage an packaging. Everyone pre-ordering before November 14th will have their name included in the book as a patron and supporter.

Order here at https://IdolScribblings.blog/the-book

Wella Didwarnya – Goddess of “I Told You So”

October 4, 2020October 15, 2020 ~ Hannah ~ Leave a comment

Who could have foreseen that a Premier who wouldn’t wear a face mask during a global pandemic would wind up in hospital? If you did, then Wella Didwarnya is the deity for you!

Wella Didwarnya spontaneously came into existence within 15 minutes of the first human marriage. She grew in power as quickly as their first offspring grew into teenagers. She is also known as “The Lady of the Lake of Tears” and Icalledit. She walks the mortal world, watching for that potent combination of ignorance and hubris. When she finds it (and it never takes long), she can deliver devastating poetic justice faster than Karma can pull its socks on. Wella is always depicted with a slightly self-congratulatory countenance, described as a “resting smug face”. She is sometimes inaccurately described as “doe eyed”. In fact, what she has is hind sight.

Wella Didwarnya’s following is mainly comprised of historians, medical professionals, scientists, climate change activists, teachers, and exasperated parents. They are not prophets in the traditional “mystical vision” sense. They make their predictions using a combination of careful scrutiny of past events, experience, scientific method and analysis of firm data. This makes them 96.25% more accurate than your average oracle, and 99.9% less popular. Their predictions are almost never heeded due to Johnson’s Razor, which states that, “He who hates smart arses, is in the greatest need of smart arses.” One mystery of the universe her scholars have never been able to solve is why fascists call themselves the “Far Right” when they are so-far wrong.

When a follower of Wella has a particularly momentous prediction come true the whole congregation will celebrate with set of ceremonies known as, “The Gloating Rites”. These rituals commence all the worshippers retweeting the original prediction which proved to be correct, followed with the dancing of the “I Told You So” dance. The whole shebang concludes with the poignant “Minute’s Silence with an Old-Fashioned Look.”

The priestesses and priests of Wella Didwarnya work as dedicated archivists to maintain a library of literature and social media posts by notable people. Especially quotes from those folks who have a tendency to hold forth on subjects they have little knowledge of, (so mainly politicians and tabloid columnists). This prodigious resource is made accessible to all followers for quoting in #ThatAgedWell situations. They are led by a High Priestess who focuses on predictions with potentially global consequences, such as climate change. She is known by the title, “The Inconvenient Ruth”.

The worshippers of Wella Didwarnya don’t always get everything right. A recent effort to be more magnanimous in victory, which involved sending a freshly baked pie to every person they repudiated, was very badly received. One virtue of followers of Wella is that they do try to learn from their mistakes. They deduced that the problem was using Spheniscus humboldti penguins as a filling. After all. No one likes eating Humboldt Pie.

If you have a suggestion for a deity, you can suggest it by clicking this link. Alternatively, get in touch over on Facebook or Twitter. All due credit will be given.

Wine Marten

September 20, 2020 ~ Hannah ~ Leave a comment

With thanks to @ElectricBowman for suggesting the Wine Marten.

Thanks to RedBubble you can purchase a fantastic range of clothing and gifts with this artwork on HERE.

https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/57954178

For this design adapted for DARK GARMENTS, click here.

https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/57954733

Muffin

August 29, 2020 ~ Hannah ~ Leave a comment

The Muffin is a delicious sea bird. It is available in blueberry, chocolate chip and sand eel.

The Muffin was suggested by Amber Lee. You can contribute your idea for a single letter mutation beast here.

Thanks to RedBubble you can purchase a fantastic range of clothing and gifts with this artwork on HERE.

For this design adapted for BLACK t-shirts, click here.

Matricula – Goddess of Exam Results

August 23, 2020October 15, 2020 ~ Hannah ~ Leave a comment

Matricula is the Goddess of Exam Results, a youthful deity who personifies hard work and integrity. She watches over those people who face opening “that” envelope, the contents of which decides one’s future. The envelope that contains the culmination of months or even years of blood, sweat and tears. She always has a sympathetic ear for the prayers of students who have done their best, but is somewhat deaf to those who know, in their heart of hearts, that they could have tried harder. She can be a wrathful deity and has been known to vigorously smite ignorant people who say things like, “Of course, the exams are getting easier these days.”

Matricula is primarily worshipped by people in their late teens who are completing their further education. Other followers include the educators and parents who are supporting these young people through their coming of age. The youth element of the faith are known as the “Candidates”. The priesthood of Matricula is comprised of highly qualified adults and has several levels of seniority. At the entry level are the dutiful Invigilators who run the temples and maintain a revered hush within. Invigilators may be the lowest rung of the clergy, but they still have significant powers, such as the ability to wipe your calculator memory. Invigilators are supported and presided over by the Markers, Moderators and Examiners who maintain the sect’s rigorous standards. There is also a mystic group of prophetic priestesses, known as the Syllabi Sisterhood, who cryptically predict what may be on the test next year.

Temples of Matricula are known as “Centres”. They do not have names, instead they are identified by a five-digit Centre Number. Each Centre is approached by a narrow bridge which leads to the main entrance. On this bridge stands an elderly, bearded man in a long grey hooded robe. As each Candidate goes to pass over the bridge to the temple he bangs his staff upon the ground and declares, “If you have not studied, YOU SHALL NOT PASS!”
If you have done your revision, and are allowed inside, you will see rows upon rows of rigidly arranged desks and chairs. There will be exactly 1.25m from the centre of each chair to the centre of the next. They face the front of the room where you will see a large clock and an altar, behind which you must leave your coat, bag and mobile phone (turned off) for the duration of the service. The service will typically last between two and three hours. Don’t worry the presiding Invigilator Priest will give you ten minutes warning when the end of the service is approaching. Interestingly, services of the Church of Matricula are the only known religious ceremony in the world where you have to be accompanied if you need to go to the toilet. (It is considered the height of bad manners to ask your Invigilator for extra paper at this time.) Candidates will often bring a small offering of cough sweets or mints to the temple. These must be presented unwrapped and in a clear plastic bag.

The most famous annual ritual of Matricula is the late summer festival of “Results Week”. It begins at 8am on the second Thursday in August, when the eighteen year old Advanced Level worshippers will gather at their Centre, often with their parents, for the rite of “The Opening of the Envelopes”. It is traditional for the young worshippers to arrive for the ceremony bathed in nervous sweat, and to leave at the end bathed in tears. Either joyous or of bitter disappointment. Although, officially, students cannot open their envelope until 8am, there always seems to be at least one lucky worshipper who gets to jump the gun, just so that they can be filmed opening their envelope for the TV Breakfast News. The next six days are known as “The Clearing”. A time of either celebration or frantic worship of Matricula’s divine father Ucas, God of University Places.

Some erroneously believe that a U is the lowest grade you can possibly get in an exam. In fact, the lowest possible mark is when the exam moderation committee share your answer on their WhatsApp group for a laugh. The sacred writings of Marticula, first transcribed by the prophet Marcus Schemius, are always produced by hand in blue or black ink (attach extra pages if needed). Sadly, unlike other ancient documents, there is no quirky marginalia to be found hiding in the borders of these sacred texts. The margin is strictly for the examiner’s use only.

This strange year we are living through has caused serious disruption to the routines of Matriculans. For a short while it looked like the evil algorithm might spell disaster for the Candidates of the Covid year. Somehow OFQUAL seemed to have been hijacked by the Foundation for United Kingdom Qualifications (or FUKQ). Thankfully Matricula moved in her mysterious ways and appeared to the Secretary of State for Education in a dream to shout at him and call him an elitist whomperpizzle until he frantically u-turned (i.e. turned the Us into Es). The only good thing to come out of this situation was that, for a moment, we had a government that believed that all teachers gave 100%.

This deity is dedicated to all the UK students affected by this year’s exams upheaval. I truly hope everything works out for you to be able to follow the dreams you have been working towards. Special mention to my Godchild “B”, we are very proud of you.

If you have a suggestion for a deity, you can suggest it by clicking this link. Alternatively, get in touch over on Facebook or Twitter. All due credit will be given.

Chipmonk

August 9, 2020 ~ Hannah ~ Leave a comment

The Chipmonk is a celibate, religious rodent. How they reproduce, nobody knows.

The Chipmonk was suggested by @gazneal. You can contribute your idea for a single letter mutation beast here.

Thanks to RedBubble you can purchase a fantastic range of clothing and gifts with this artwork on HERE.

For this design adapted for BLACK t-shirts, click here.