Cannula – Goddess of Blood Donors

Cannula is the goddess of blood donors, anaesthetists and re-hydration therapy. In mythology she was the consort of the God Apheresis until they were separated. Sadly, their love was in vein.

Whilst there are a few permanent temples to Cannula, most of her places of worship are temporary pop up affairs. They will often set up in schools, village halls and community centres. There are even a few mobile “Bus Temples” touring the country.

The temples of Cannula have a distinctive “green couch and screen” theme to the décor. Inside, the faithful will exchange donations of blood for a cuppa and a fig roll. As they enter the temple, worshippers will deposit a small drop of blood in a mysterious measuring cylinder. This test ascertains whether they will act with the level of specific gravity required whilst inside. If you are found to have “blod” in your veins, then it is because you are type-o.

Offerings of tea and biscuits are left at her temple by grateful benefactors to supply the donors.

Services of worship often continue all day with visitors coming and going, very much “going with the flow”. A typical call and response chant from one of Cannula’s rites goes,
Priest 1: Oh! Negative!
Priest 2: Oh! Positive
Priest 1: Hey, negative!
Priest 2: Hey, positive!
Priest 1: Be negative!
Priest 2: Be positive!
Congregation: ‘Eeey, be positive!

Following this there will usually be a short rhesus.

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