Anaglypta & Artex – Gods of Failed DIY Projects

The patron deities of “structural decor”. These gods have been around a long time, and it is likely to be many more centuries until the last traces of them are removed. They were first appealed to by terrified Roman plebeians cowering in their ramshackle insulae.

The Temple of Anaglypta and Artex is a potential death trap, despite initially appearing neat and sound, though dated. Don’t let this fool you. Chunks of masonry or plaster may fall on you like blessings from above. The pews are held together with matchsticks rather than dowels, and will collapse conveniently beneath your weight to help you assume the correct prostrate position for prayer.

In mythology Artex and Anaglypta are husband and wife. Theirs is a passionate and stormy relationship, often fought in the aisles of B&Q. In the end Artex won dominion over the ceilings and Anaglypta won control of the walls below the picture rail. Now, in unison, they cover their realms to hide the cracks in the universe and hold up the lath of the heavens. Before marrying Anaglypta, Artex was linked with Asbestos, until Asbestos was banished from the realm by the COSHH.

Artex is a spiky, prickly character. A brush with him is likely to leave you raw and bleeding. Anaglypta always looks slightly tired, old and dusty. She sometimes flocks to hang out in Indian restaurants.

At the festival of Artex it is traditional for worshippers to get plastered. Sometimes things can get a bit rough between followers who favour Artex the most, and those who love Anaglypta. In the resultant fight, the followers of Anaglypta usually get pasted. Their most memorable hymn is “What Goes Up” by Gordon & Brown.

Thank you to Adam Broadhust and Rebecca Stothard for coming up with Anaglypta and Artex separately. I hope you don’t mind that I married them off.

Idol Scribblings Volume Two
Coming out 30th November 2020

Even more deities for every eventuality with a foreword by Gary Brannan of the Technical Difficulties ( )
Pre order before November 14th 2020 for a special early-bird discount and to get your name included in the book as a patron.

Pre order here

Idol Scribblings Volume One

A collection of 52 deities, ancient and modern, for all occations from Idol Scribblings. Produced in 2019-2020.

Order your copy here


What do you get the person who has everything? Turn them into a God!

I can turn your friend, relative or even you pet into a humorous Idol Scribblings cartoon. They make a perfect gift!

Click this link to contact me for more information about how to deify your loved ones like a Roman Emperor of old!

Thank you for reading. If you have enjoyed this deity, please feel free to share it with your friends. New deities are published weekly. You can get alerted to new deities via Facebook through the Idol Scribbling Page or on Twitter by following @IdolScribblings . Catch up on the Pantheon so far here.

If you have a suggestion for a deity, you can suggest it by clicking this link. Alternatively, get in touch over on Facebook or Twitter. All due credit will be given.

2 thoughts on “Anaglypta & Artex – Gods of Failed DIY Projects

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.